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I only ask because I'm a real cunt in the spring; you can rent me by the hour [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Michel (Je vend mon corps)

[ website | hay s^ baby? ]
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(no subject) [Aug. 14th, 2004|03:04 am]
Michel (Je vend mon corps)
First off I asked you only because we don't talk regularly anymore.

You told me that you were "going to see what happens" with this guy.

This guy is 19 AND HAS 3 KIDS.

He doesn't like to have sex with condoms.

You know because guys who you haven't talked to in a year just IM you out of blue and sincerely have crushes on you.

It TOTALLY DOESN'T sound like he bullshitting you so he can have a good fuck.

Obviously he's a manipulator if he can get 3 different chicks to fuck without a condom.

Theres NO difference between this situation and me thinking of hooking up with a guy who has 3 STDs, 'cause just like STDs, kids are around for the rest of your life.

If I offended you with that one comment, I'm sorry, it was a little out of line.

But, I'm not sorry for the conversation we had, maybe the way it turned out.

And everyone would agree with me that I'm looking out for you and right about this situation.

I can't fucking believe you don't know what kind've situation you're getting yourself into.

And if it takes a hard shake to make you notice, let it be, I'd expect the same.

Friends don't sweet talk you, and bullshit to avoid a maybe-hot spot, they're honest and look out for you.
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(no subject) [Aug. 12th, 2004|10:00 am]
Michel (Je vend mon corps)

You Know You're From Illinois When...

You know if someone is from southern, middle or northern
Illinois as soon as they open their mouth.

When you say "the city" - you mean Chicago.

You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."

You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.

You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, soddie, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.

You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is.

You spent a good deal of your high school nights hanging out at DQ.

"Vacation" means going to Six Flags.

You don't pronounce the "S" in Illinois like the rest of the world.

Whenever anyone mentions going out for steak, the first place you think of is Ponderosa.

You know more than one person with a septic tank.

You pronounce the invisible "R" in the word wash.

Down south to you means Kentucky

You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des Plaines"

You think Chicago is a completely different state from Illinois.

You know the answer to the question, "Is this Heaven?"

You know where all the Yoders live

Detassling was your first job

You've ever been on a "Geode Hunt"

Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and
accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice

You learn your pickup will run without a muffler

When asked how your trip was to any foreign, exotic place, you say, "It was different."

You consider being called a "Pork Queen" an honor

People from other states love to hear you say "Illinois" and other words with "Os" in them.

Your dream vacation is a trip to Rock Home Gardens

You drink "pop."

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Illinois.

BULLSHIT! This blog totally makes it sound like all people from Illinois are hicks, ignorant, and stupid. Um, the majority of Illinois' population is in the north, and Dupage is the richest county in the United States, assholes.

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OMGOMGOMG OMGOMGOMG [Aug. 8th, 2004|11:31 pm]
Michel (Je vend mon corps)
[Current Music |Felix da Housecat]

I just FINALLY figured out what "skit skit"(sp?) means!!!!111one

LOL, Lil' Jon's so CRAAAZAY.

Also, LOL @ me for just figuring that out after like a year after that song came out.
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(no subject) [Aug. 6th, 2004|01:03 am]
Michel (Je vend mon corps)

I finally found my Sister Act Soundtrack. Also, I found a box full of my mom's old vinyls, which is full of 70s and 60s music...and now it's all mine!

me > you.

Also, Tricia has gone to Quebec, and I will never forgive her for not taking me with, thus me missing out on hot french-canadians guys. Bitch.
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(no subject) [Aug. 1st, 2004|02:46 am]
Michel (Je vend mon corps)

*Bill Clinton appreciation thread...seriously, after his speech at the DNC, I'd fuck him too.*
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New Sealab DVD [Jul. 26th, 2004|03:52 am]
Michel (Je vend mon corps)

captain murphy is all the boyfriend i'll ever need, assholes.
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(no subject) [Jul. 18th, 2004|02:05 am]
Michel (Je vend mon corps)
I want to go to one of their seminars, seriously.

It costs $230, anybody wanna paypal me some money?

I'm so not kidding.
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SKJADKJSDJKASHDS [Jul. 18th, 2004|01:37 am]
Michel (Je vend mon corps)
[Current Mood |sad because if have aids]

Oh. My. God. I'm the illegitimate love child of Bea Arthur and Ronald Reagan.

Also, after countless months of trying to support my addiction to crack cocaine through prostitution, it has failed. So now I am going to become a ballerina.

Also, anyone who has a Louis Vuitton bag, suitcase etc. and thinks its chic should automatically be dragged by Ford pick-up truck until they are no longer living. LOUIS VUITTON IS NOT CHIC, ITS TACKY.

Tonight, I was attracted to a black girl for the first time in my entire life.

I keep on having a reoccurring pirate fetish.

Pirates are fuckin' bitchin'.
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Poodles! [Jul. 16th, 2004|02:02 am]
Michel (Je vend mon corps)
LOL @ watching Will & Grace with my neo-conservative Irish Grandmother.
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This is going to sound vain... [Jul. 14th, 2004|09:47 pm]
Michel (Je vend mon corps)
[Current Music |Saint Etienne]

Seriously, can people stop insisting to have sex with me inside my household? There are 2 problems with this:

1.)There is ALWAYS someone other than myself in my house, not an ideal enviroment for sex.

2.)I have trouble maintaining an erection in the same city as my mother, let alone the same household...which probably explains all the sex I have in bathrooms.

So, please stop asking, or I'm going to rip out yours' or my own eyes, Oedipus-style, and Greek tragedies suck, mostly everything Greek does, excluding their guys and gyros.

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